Category Archives: Blues

A Letter

Hey,

I have been very busy for the past couple of weeks due to work, travel, and my health.

I still have a slightly sore throat, which I hope clears up before Saturday.

I have had lots of shopping to do, and I did that past Sunday. (Saturday being one of my friend’s wedding, I couldn’t do anything else.)

I still have some left to do. And God knows how I am going to do that.

Finally, I’ve been loaded with too work up until today that I had to endure an entire day of severe migraine and another day of throat infection+fever at office without availing a leave.

I have been told that I have taken too many leaves(12) already. I agree I have, but those were taken due to valid reasons (Health/Weddings of my friends/Visiting a few temples that my parents were very stubborn about), not for some vacation. Even though I knew not to expect better, I was kinda pissed. I kept quiet though, and kept doing whatever work they threw me my way.

I was getting increasingly frustrated with my work, people at work, and ultimately myself. This did no good to my general attitude and behavior. All that pent up frustration had reflected badly in my attitude at home. I kept getting angry with my dad and mom for some stupid reason or the other.

Yesterday I met a couple of my best friends, who wanted to meet me before I left for France. They were the ones who made me realize how stupid I was behaving. I thought about what I had been doing.

Not eating properly.
Taking out my anger at parents.
Not replying/responding to people
I was amazed at how much I was ruining myself, and deciding to set a few things straight. I have already given some people back what they deserve, and have decided to continue keep doing that. I’ve already let too much of my work life interfere with my personal life. And I have decided to not let it happen anymore.

I don’t know why I am telling you all of this. But typing this out makes me feel better.

Regards,
Vithya

My to-do list

My To-do List:

1. Call Roshini. It’s almost a month since her wedding. The last time I spoke to her, I was trying(in a really pathetic way) to tell that I couldn’t make it to her wedding. I still haven’t called her. The gift I bought for the couple still lies in the corner of my wardrobe.

2. Visit Kavita – She’s getting married this month, and I’ve been telling her for quite some time that I’d visit her. I haven’t done it in more than three months. Worse, her home’s just a 5 minute drive from my place.

3. Meet Vaenil – I can’t believe it’s been more than forever since I met my bestie. Her staying in Bangalore was the primary reason for this, I used to tell myself. She shifted to Chennai more than a month ago. I still haven’t met her.

4. Call Anju. The last time I spoke to her, her kid had broken a leg. I told her, to bring him to Chennai. It’s been over two months now, and I still haven’t called up.

5. Get my mom a saree. It’s been almost a year since I wanted to buy her a silk saree as a surprise. I have not done it. I am so pathetic at managing my budget.

6. Get my dad a wallet. a few days back my dad asked my brother whether he has a spare wallet. I felt kinda stupid. For every birthday of his I wonder what I should get him, and finally settle on a boring T-Shirt. Should get him a decent one.

7. Make time, and go out with a few of my college pals. A select few.

8. Call Rekha, and Kauser. I just need to call.

Reasons for the very long delay.

1. I just couldn’t come with terms with calling Rosh up. I feel so guilty. I still don’t know whether I am going to call her up.

2. Frankly, I have been a lousy friend. I told her I’d visit her past weekend. But no, I went shopping for my birthday instead. Worse, she came by my home and I was not there 😐 I am out of station next weekend, so I really don’t know when I am visiting to her place.

3. Let’s admit it. She is just being a lazy ass like me. We rock.:P

4. This I feel terrible about this one. I totally forgot about Harish. I am stopping typing this out, and calling her up right away. That’s right. Karma. Her phone is switched off. 😦

5. I wanted to gift my mom a saree on her birthday last year, April 18. I hope I will do that atleast this year. Praying that I save some money!

6. I’m getting my dad a wallet for my birthday. Promise.

7. I’m mailing Shiva, and Vaenil right away. I want to meet them for a movie. Did that too! Yay!

8. Two people, I feel most comfortable with at school, apart from my besties. I should somehow make my lazy self, give them a call.

I feel pathetic. I should straighten myself up, and stop being a lazy ass!

Blue

That’s how I feel. Blue.

Three years seems like a such a short span of time. It just isn’t enough. I want more time. More time, together.

But it also seems like a lifetime. Because that’s how long that I feel that I have known y’all for.

I remember every single thing that we have done together.

  • Sending out the”Do you want Dhivya’s wheel chips?” mail to CB.
  • Dhivya swearing aloud, “M***ru” when Balaji, our HR was around.
  • Purush sight adichufying Wipro, and Shark sight adichufying Purush.
  • Giving Purush the nick-name SP.
  • Raja turning red every time he eats something hot. Yeah, the vamp can’t eat hot stuff.
  • Me getting my tongue numb, and talking weird every time I have ice-creams.
  • Having coffee just like everyday, and then deciding out of the blue that we’re going out for dinner that day.
  • Giving nick names to almost everyone we know, starting from complan boy to little boy.
  • Having a huge tiff(mostly because of me), and then making up like it never happened at all. I still feel so bad that it was all because of me.

and so much more. Also, I can’t deny the fact that each one of you has been a positive influence in my life. I owe you guys much.

I’ve been wanting to tell you guys this, but had never had the guts to do so until now.

SP, thank you for forgiving me. I still can’t come to terms of how stupid and inconsiderate I was. In fact, I never expected you to be so understanding that it was worse than you being angry.

Raja, if not for you I would have never realized that I was doing something not only wrong but immensely hurtful. Thanks for being angry. Hope you are not mad at me now.

Dhivya, for being huge-hearted and putting things in the past even though we’ve had a fair share of differences.

Now that two of you have left for another company, and very soon Raja will do so too, I have come to the stark realization of how much you guys meant to me and how much I will miss you.

At times, I hear some of my other friends say how much that they envy us. At times like that I realize how blessed I am to have y’all. Thank you for being all that you are. Will miss you guys sorely!

I guess my first post is dedicated to you – Dhivya, Purushotham and Rajamani.